The
otherwise peaceful rise of China as one of the world’s superpowers has not only
taken bookmakers and everybody in it by surprise but it has also brought with
it some very strange episodes.
Today, those
regarded as third world citizens are boasting of being at par with the elite as
far as technology is concerned. All this, courtesy of the influx of counterfeit
Chinese mobile phones on most African markets.
Until
recently, what used to take primary school teacher ages of savings in order to
buy an original Samsung Galaxy handset is no longer an issue. Thanks to the
mighty Chinese, a mere visit to Limbe market in Blantyre today would permit you
the opportunity of having an equally sophisticated gadget like the original one
at 90 percent discount with added features like internet access for facebooking
and dual sim-card services.
Such is the
new world the South-eastern Asian giant has created. They are masters in their
own art.
Stories have
been told since time immemorial of Chinese shrewdness including the most famous
one which alleges that the Chinese national soccer team was banned by the
soccer governing body, Fifa, after it was discovered that they were fond of
cheating especially during recess as they could change the entire starting
eleven and technical panel without being noticed by the officiating personnel.
Another
story is told of China’s renowned movie star Jack Chan who took part in
look-alike contest only for him to emerge on eleventh position, the top ten
list was dominated by his impersonators. Quite fascinating.
It is also
the influx of the Chinese here in Africa that is said to have led to the rise
in population of curvy ladies in our streets. How far true this is I’m yet to
find out.
Anyway,
China’s ambitious plans to become a superpower one day have seen them trying
their best to dominate in every aspect of life such that they are probably the
world’s largest supplier ranging from electronic gadgets to herbs.
Talking of
herbs, I’m reminded of commercial adverts that feature in our daily papers
about the Chinese traditional concoctions that are said to be performing
miracles ranging from manhood enlargement [for whatever reasons] to boosting
the immune system.
The
ascendancy of Chinese products such as herbs here in Malawi has prompted
locally made stuff like Thubulo and Gondolosi to be green with envy as they
have seen their place; they have dominated since the time of akafula, being
taken by Vukavuka, Viagra and Enzoy in that order.
I will be
giving force testimony if I detest the foreign products whose sole reason of
existence is to provide extra support to men with insatiable appetite for
women.
It has been
proven beyond doubt, so I’m meant to believe, that onc
e you take any of such stuff,
the “partner-in-crime” can soldier on for at least four hours without failing
your confidence.
This could
be the reason therefore that one man-of-honor decided to part ways with his
usual gulewamkulu charm to go for Chinese made stuff in a quest to make a
15-year-old girlfriend see red.
Unfortunately,
the honorable man went bananas as he reportedly took an overdose of the lethal
Viagra tablets.
No sooner
than later did the descendant of the once mighty clan suffered a seizure attack
or heart failure [whatever way you want to call it] but we are told he was
rushed to a near-by hospital where he was treated for his condition.
This came
barely years after another man-of-honor from same region was found dead in a
south African hospitality room for allegedly taking one too many of the
sex-enhancing-drugs.
Albeit there
were other versions attached to the death as he was also a sworn enemy of the
country’s most feared politician when it comes to rural science.
Let me put
it on record that I have no problems with amplifying sexual performance but I
will not sit down and watch a 60-year-old maniac relieving himself in a
teenager young enough to be called his granddaughter.
All-in-all
the Viagra scandal should serve as lesson to our men of honor who are moving
all over town disgracing themselves with their zips wide open.
As for the
honorable man, I think he should thank his ancestors that Malawi is not Iran,
rest he would have permanently parted ways with his partner-in-crime within
blink of an eye.
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